There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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