You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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