id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Less talking, more tequila
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
