All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
sex in a hospital.. check
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize