Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
