We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
