So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
