Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
