garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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