I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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