Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
