when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize