Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
