I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
