I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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