Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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