Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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