So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
