i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Four minutes until I can fart!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
