It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
