corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
