HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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