Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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