we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
