I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize