You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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