At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
