I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize