It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
