Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize