walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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