my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
