Four minutes until I can fart!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
