I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
