i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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