If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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