And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
