spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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