guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
