Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
