He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
