okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
