Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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