Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
