I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
