In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
