At least make sure they are 18
Why
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
