How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
