Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
