Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
