just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
