The maid of honor just puked.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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