I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
