She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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