I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Acid is not a monday night drug
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
