oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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