just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
