So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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