He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
